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Torts won’t be put in a bubble and floated into the ocean

Jan 23, 2014, 11:52 AM EDT

tortorellagetty Getty Images

Turns out John Tortorella’s next two weeks can include some contact with the Vancouver Canucks organization.

Per the Globe and Mail, the suspended head coach is banned from communicating with his players; however, he won’t be completely cut off from the team.

“General theme is no contact at all with the players during the 15 days, and no contact with club personnel in and around actual games,” NHL deputy commissioner Bill Daly wrote in an email to the Globe.

Daly added that the suspension was “not intended to put him in a bubble and float him into the Pacific for two weeks.”

Though that sure is a fun thing to imagine.

Here’s Canucks general manager Mike Gillis explaining further:

  1. andidee15 - Jan 23, 2014 at 12:03 PM

    “Torts won’t be put in a bubble and floated into the ocean”

    Nah, that treatment is reserved for young Canadians who don’t medal at World Juniors.

    • pfhockey - Jan 23, 2014 at 4:10 PM

      “Torts won’t be put in a bubble and floated into the ocean”
      That line was delivered by Pierre McGuire. lol

  2. tronn25 - Jan 23, 2014 at 12:29 PM

    Hows that new mantra working out Torts?! Geez, what a fool. I thought Canadian hockey was supposed to be honorable while setting the bar for America.

    Maybe Vancouver would be better off investing in a Nascar squad.

    • davebabychreturns - Jan 23, 2014 at 12:48 PM

      This is some pretty weak sauce trolling, dude.

    • kaptaanamerica - Jan 23, 2014 at 1:58 PM

      Why are Canadians so smug? And rude?

      • davebabychreturns - Jan 23, 2014 at 2:07 PM

        Probably because they are the target of ridiculous blanket statements made by morons like YOU, Kaptaanam Erica.

        (BTW I am totally joking, no offense intended, just couldn’t resist a chance to be smug and rude in response to your post, hope we are still cool Erica.)

  3. muckleflugga - Jan 23, 2014 at 2:12 PM

    i’m not a lumberjack or a fur trader … i don’t live in an igloo or eat blubber or own a dog sled …

    and i don’t know jimmy, sally or suzy from canada, although i’m certain they’re really, really nice … i have a prime minister, not a president …

    i speak english and french and hockey, not american … and i pronounce it about, not aboot …

    i can proudly sew my country’s flag on my backpack … i believe in peacekeeping, not policing … diversity, not assimilation …

    and that the beaver is a truly proud and noble animal … a toque is a hat, a chesterfield is a couch … and it is pronounced zed, not zee, zed …

    canada is the second largest landmass, the first nation of hockey and the best part of north america …

    my name is joe, and i am canadian!

    • davebabychreturns - Jan 23, 2014 at 2:23 PM

      Thanks for posting the copy from a beer commercial, really makes me proud to be born within a certain political boundary.

    • yetidad - Jan 23, 2014 at 3:49 PM

      As a Canadian living in the states, the posure attitude of the likes of muckleflugga about being Canadian is one just one more embarassment to our treasured flag. Right after the Right Honorable Mayor Ford! Leave the superiority complex at your therapist’s office.

  4. westof1club - Jan 23, 2014 at 2:21 PM

    Richard Sherman should play hockey. Where the REAL thugs are! (McSorley, Bertuzzi, Cooke, Milbury going Ron Artest before Ron Artest, and the 70s Flyers).

    • davebabychreturns - Jan 23, 2014 at 2:27 PM

      Depends whether thug means “violent degenerate” in which case you are right, or “a socially appropriate replacement for a racist epithet” in which case you are mostly not right.

      Although I’m not aware of any murderers in the NHL (other than Craig MacTavish, ha ha ha), so..

      • davebabychreturns - Jan 23, 2014 at 2:28 PM

        And just in case anyone is having reading comprehension issues today, the “murderers” quip is not about Sherman.

      • slysipops - Jan 24, 2014 at 9:41 PM

        or HEATLY

  5. westof1club - Jan 23, 2014 at 2:38 PM

    Nice! And yes, the deplorable actions of athletes have no color. Which is why Torts’ actions transcend thuggery. He is a child in a man’s body, much like Sherman.

    • davebabychreturns - Jan 23, 2014 at 3:06 PM

      How dare a person beat out a competitor in an intense rivalry, and then shout some things while still pumped full of adrenaline. Simply outrageous.

      Excuse me, I’ve got to go find some pearls to clutch.

  6. imleftcoast - Jan 23, 2014 at 3:50 PM

    Color definitely has a role in the Shearman controversy. It should have been a one-day story, and most people can’t even identify what they have a problem with.

  7. muckleflugga - Jan 23, 2014 at 4:10 PM


    just so we’re clear … i consider my self to be albertan … superior in every measure

    i don’t believe in flags, patriotism or democracy …

    those are the tools of propaganda exploited by right wing murdering machines

    text quoted above re joe the canadian, was offered in lampoon of perception of canadians from the biggest right wing murdering machine on this planet …

    there’s no need to acknowledge source in quotes implicitly the property of others by force of exposure in the public domain …

    perhaps the canadian commercials weren’t seen in your baillewicke

    i hope you’re to old for the draft

    • yetidad - Jan 23, 2014 at 4:28 PM

      Haven’t seen any right wingers, murderers, military industrial machinists or other threats to world peace and human rights in the 48 years I have lived south of the border. Now that you mention it though, I will go check my neighbors’ yards and garages for signs of such. I might have to move their Obama lawn signs aside to do a thorough recon, if you get my meaning. Good luck in ‘Berta.

      • slysipops - Jan 24, 2014 at 9:46 PM

        most of the OBAMA lawn signs have been trashed!

  8. muckleflugga - Jan 23, 2014 at 6:34 PM


    get yarself a telavishion or raaadio

    ketch the nues


  9. slysipops - Jan 24, 2014 at 9:48 PM

    VANCOUVER CHRONICAL headline : TORTELLA seeks job with WWF !

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