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Rielly explains that Kessel’s ‘a mutant, almost’

Jan 21, 2014, 10:10 PM EDT

To put it mildly, Toronto Maple Leafs winger Phil Kessel is on the top of his game right now. He extended his point streak to seven games (six goals, eight assists) with this goal on Tuesday:

Update: Kessel also scored another goal, giving him 26 on the season. The Maple Leafs won 5-2.

His teammate Morgan Rielly probably said it best when he provided TSN’s Jonas Siegel with this gem of analysis:

“He’s a mutant almost,” Rielly said.

That observation begs the question: what “superpowers” or “mutant abilities” might Kessel have? A few guesses:

  • Super acceleration despite looking a little chubby in photos (Rick Nash also possesses or at least possessed this ability)
  • The ability to score tons of goals and still get blamed for his team’s failures.
  • Impervious to over-sized media pressure.
  • Gifted at mocking Tyler Bozak for playing video games (warning: a little NSFW).

Any other powers to add?

  1. esracerx46 - Jan 21, 2014 at 10:13 PM

    Head fat is always the most difficult to get rid of.

    • badgerhockey77 - Jan 22, 2014 at 1:46 AM

      I can’t believe Kessel can skate so well despite being soft. I saw him on NHL 24/7 Winter Classic episode. He was putting a shirt on, and a roll of fat was hanging over his shorts. No muscle definition. Just a pudgy doughboy. Doesn’t look like a pro athlete at all. Just imagine how fast he’d be if he started the Gary Roberts training regimen or something similar. Then he’d truly be a mutant! Anyways, whatever. I only care that scores a bunch of goals for Team USA!

      • c9castine - Jan 22, 2014 at 3:37 AM

        when you see a coach or some older retired player who is a complete wing-eating chubster (like bruce boudreau) and wonder “how the hell did that guy play elite level hockey once?”….

        thats phil kessel.

  2. sheckyrimshot - Jan 21, 2014 at 10:53 PM

    if he has the power to eliminate 15 second ads from a 12 second video, i need him to teach me that shiznit

    • hockeydon10 - Jan 22, 2014 at 9:13 AM

      ad block plus

  3. jpotz - Jan 21, 2014 at 11:22 PM

    I think everything that needed to be said here has been. Carry on.

  4. djshnooks - Jan 22, 2014 at 1:08 AM

    He is also good at turtling out of fights…and swinging his hockey stick like a golf club at opponents knees, like it is a weapon and he is trying to seriously injure said opponent. He is a punk…total scumbag.

    • c9castine - Jan 22, 2014 at 3:38 AM

      getting thumbs down but its true.

  5. montrealbbr - Jan 22, 2014 at 8:01 AM

    I watched that 24/7 series and I cant decide if I hate Kessel or Phaneuf more. Two idiots taking up a good chunk of the Leafs payroll. And Kessel is just a load too. I give him two more seasons before the wheels start to fall off.

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