Please, let’s keep this on point. I cannot afford to get in a pissing match with you- I have not been to over a hundred Flyers games, the Winter Classic, seen teams that Mario was not good enough to get to the playoffs, witnessed R.J. Umberger and Joffrey Lupul get hat tricks in the same game against the Penguins. These must be someone else’s memories. So please, enough about me, I need to hear all about the lifestyle of a high roller like you since you clearly don’t share your wealth of hockey knowledge here on this proletariat website. You save the good stuff for one of those pay sites you and the rest of the high rollers frequent. All that we get if rom you is a parade of the creative 1975 and ginger comments.

Put me up in 300-levels with some beers and the rest of the real fans, who don’t need a program to tell them who is on the effing ice.

drink beer, you queer.

Seriously though man, when was the last time you actually went to a game?

Is that your make-a-wish? I know sometimes Mario lets moon-faced kids with extra chromosomes go to a game every now and then. I’ll look for you at the game and try not to stare too long.

10th place.

Like those Stanley cups from before you were born, something that happened in the past (one victory against the Penguins) will have to sustain you through numerous future losses.

Look at that record one more time.

And I am sure you are sick of telling the story by now, but just one more time, please. Tell us about the time you and Orpick hid Syd’s Bic razor at Mario’s Christmas party and you took your son’s Thursday allowance to purchase Bic’s entire line of razor’s so Syd’s couldn’t shave his moustasche for 5 months.

Heal up quick!