Jan 28, 2013, 1:31 PM EST
Prior to every NHL campaign, teams put their players through a bunch of boring administrative stuff — physicals, paperwork and, most importantly for the purposes of this post, headshots.
The headshot is a curious thing. It’s not often used, so players tend to treat it like high school picture day. Show up in whatever shape you’re in, completely oblivious to the fact someone is going to capture your image, sit down, stare at the camera and hope it turns out, you know, not awful.
Of course, the whole “show up in whatever shape you’re in” part can lead to some, uh, interesting results.
Like in the case of the following five NHLers:
This one has been making the rounds for a while (see here) so there’s really no need to go into great detail about the bushman of San Jose.
Here he be:
I like the juxtaposition at play. How can one man’s head be so immaculately clean, yet his beard look like it was glued on, then sent through a wind tunnel?
He may or may not have spent the lockout following Phish around in an ’83 Volkswagen bus.
The strength of Steeger’s mustache growth seems to be in strips directly below his nostrils, which is weirdly fascinating.
And rounding it out is the ‘Bulin Wall, looking far more disheveled than he did in his infamous 2010 DUI mugshot.
Now, for an entirely different set of headshots, check out this gallery of New Jersey Devils. That is the cleanest-shaven hockey team ever.
We mentioned last year about how Brian Burke waxed poetic over Lou Lamoriello’s strict grooming policies, but just to refresh:
Burke (courtesy the National Post):
“When I played at Providence College, we played West Point, we played the U.S. military academy, at West Point. Now, this is the ’70s, we’re playing teams with guys who have hair down to here [points to shoulders]. Our hair is not allowed to touch our ear.
“Like, I just got a haircut today so that Lou won’t call me and tell me I need a haircut.”
Burke pointed to his freshly trimmed sideburns and continued.
“So we’re playing the cadets. We’re at centre ice and their guys skate over: ‘Hey man, what’s with the hair? We HAVE to do this. What’s with you guys?’
And we’re like, ‘we HAVE to do it, too.”
All of New Jersey’s haircuts are believed to be modeled on this example:
Dec 17, 2014, 3:02 PM EST
Will instead serve in a “player development/consultant role,” and will work out of his Florida home.
Dec 17, 2014, 2:27 PM EST
News and notes from around the crease…
Dec 17, 2014, 1:34 PM EST
That’s 16 documented cases league-wide.
Dec 17, 2014, 1:31 PM EST
Despite four straight losses and the memory of last season.
Dec 17, 2014, 1:23 PM EST
“In every game that he’s played, he hasn’t shown any signs of fatigue.”
Dec 17, 2014, 12:25 PM EST
“When we were winning games, it seemed those chances against would not go in.”
Dec 17, 2014, 12:21 PM EST
Preseason standout now up for grabs.
Dec 17, 2014, 11:57 AM EST
“You just have to find a way to be better so it’s not going to be about one call or one bounce.”
Dec 17, 2014, 11:57 AM EST
Which will make things interesting for both him and the Blue Jackets.
Dec 17, 2014, 11:06 AM EST
Beau Bennett still dealing with effects, Sidney Crosby has “passed the infectious period.”
Dec 17, 2014, 10:47 AM EST
Says the move “reaffirms our vision of becoming an elite organization, both at the NHL and AHL levels.”
Dec 17, 2014, 10:45 AM EST
Both teams are dealing with some adversity right now.
Dec 17, 2014, 9:47 AM EST
“He’s done a tremendous job for us,” Joel Quenneville said.
Dec 17, 2014, 9:07 AM EST
Kris Versteeg and Eugene Melnyk play doctor.
Dec 17, 2014, 8:33 AM EST
Wednesday’s collection of links.
Dec 17, 2014, 2:02 AM EST
The Florida Panthers surpassed Boston in the East standings.
Dec 17, 2014, 1:26 AM EST
Patrick Kane gets the winner for Chicago.
Dec 17, 2014, 12:39 AM EST
And he hits the 20-goal mark. In 31 games.
Dec 17, 2014, 12:15 AM EST
One of these teams had to win.
Dec 16, 2014, 11:48 PM EST
It’s going around, as you all know.
- Update your wallcharts: Rangers confirm Brassard has mumps 4
- Video: Coyotes defeat Oilers with 0.3 seconds remaining in OT 2
- It’s ‘unlikely’ Duncan Keith has the mumps, says Blackhawks coach 3
- Bjugstad scores the winner as Panthers, Capitals make history with 20-round shootout 19
- Yep, Beau Bennett has the mumps 24
- (Video) PHT Extra: Would the Oilers really trade Taylor Hall? 11
- Russia’s economic crisis causing big trouble for KHL 55
- Eakins calls for patience in Edmonton, whether fans ‘like it or not’ 15
- Bruins have to ‘step up,’ starting tonight in Nashville 45
- Welcome Taylor Hall to the trade rumor mill 53