Jan 28, 2013, 1:31 PM EDT
Prior to every NHL campaign, teams put their players through a bunch of boring administrative stuff — physicals, paperwork and, most importantly for the purposes of this post, headshots.
The headshot is a curious thing. It’s not often used, so players tend to treat it like high school picture day. Show up in whatever shape you’re in, completely oblivious to the fact someone is going to capture your image, sit down, stare at the camera and hope it turns out, you know, not awful.
Of course, the whole “show up in whatever shape you’re in” part can lead to some, uh, interesting results.
Like in the case of the following five NHLers:
This one has been making the rounds for a while (see here) so there’s really no need to go into great detail about the bushman of San Jose.
Here he be:
I like the juxtaposition at play. How can one man’s head be so immaculately clean, yet his beard look like it was glued on, then sent through a wind tunnel?
He may or may not have spent the lockout following Phish around in an ’83 Volkswagen bus.
The strength of Steeger’s mustache growth seems to be in strips directly below his nostrils, which is weirdly fascinating.
And rounding it out is the ‘Bulin Wall, looking far more disheveled than he did in his infamous 2010 DUI mugshot.
Now, for an entirely different set of headshots, check out this gallery of New Jersey Devils. That is the cleanest-shaven hockey team ever.
We mentioned last year about how Brian Burke waxed poetic over Lou Lamoriello’s strict grooming policies, but just to refresh:
Burke (courtesy the National Post):
“When I played at Providence College, we played West Point, we played the U.S. military academy, at West Point. Now, this is the ’70s, we’re playing teams with guys who have hair down to here [points to shoulders]. Our hair is not allowed to touch our ear.
“Like, I just got a haircut today so that Lou won’t call me and tell me I need a haircut.”
Burke pointed to his freshly trimmed sideburns and continued.
“So we’re playing the cadets. We’re at centre ice and their guys skate over: ‘Hey man, what’s with the hair? We HAVE to do this. What’s with you guys?’
And we’re like, ‘we HAVE to do it, too.”
All of New Jersey’s haircuts are believed to be modeled on this example:
May 3, 2015, 11:55 AM EDT
Brandon Saad: “We have to regroup, refocus and get the job done.”
May 3, 2015, 10:46 AM EDT
It’s unclear if this is injury-related.
May 3, 2015, 9:36 AM EDT
Three games for a pretty busy Sunday.
May 3, 2015, 12:30 AM EDT
Yeah, it was quite a goal from No. 8.
May 2, 2015, 11:00 PM EDT
Didn’t waste time getting on the board in Game 2.
May 2, 2015, 10:00 PM EDT
But it doesn’t sound like there will be a dramatic, sudden return.
May 2, 2015, 9:00 PM EDT
“You only have one life, enjoy it.”
May 2, 2015, 7:59 PM EDT
Without a goal in this post-season.
May 2, 2015, 6:59 PM EDT
Minnesota almost completed the comeback in Game 1.
May 2, 2015, 5:43 PM EDT
“Since the voting period began, we’ve received an astounding 20.4 million votes…”
May 2, 2015, 5:05 PM EDT
The Caps were out-shot 15-4 and out-scored 2-0 in the opening 20.
May 2, 2015, 3:45 PM EDT
Lundqvist made 30 saves as New York edged Washington 3-2 in Game 2.
May 2, 2015, 3:07 PM EDT
The highlight-reel goal pulls the Caps to within one.
May 2, 2015, 3:00 PM EDT
He suffered a lower body injury on Friday.
May 2, 2015, 2:30 PM EDT
Paperwork filed for environmental study.
May 2, 2015, 1:40 PM EDT
One of four first period saves made by the Rangers’ starter.
May 2, 2015, 1:05 PM EDT
Opened the scoring 38 seconds in.
May 2, 2015, 12:05 PM EDT
Puck drop is at 12:30 p.m. ET on NBC.
May 2, 2015, 11:15 AM EDT
He made his NHL debut in April.
May 2, 2015, 10:35 AM EDT
He didn’t play a shift in the third period of Thursday’s loss.
- Here’s your Stanley Cup playoff TV schedule for tonight 6
- Rangers hang on, even series with Caps 55
- Video: Ovechkin splits ‘D’, scores while falling 31
- Flames’ Gaudreau wasn’t happy with benching in Game 1 2
- Video: Blackhawks hold off Wild to take series lead 23
- Video: Therrien fuming after Bolts appear offside before OT winner 45
- Video: Lightning bolt to series lead on Kucherov’s double OT winner 14
- WATCH LIVE: Tonight’s Stanley Cup Playoff action 8
- Report: BOG to vote on Vegas expansion in September 1
- Vigneault: ‘Standards have been set’ after Ovechkin, Backstrom hits 102
- Niklas Kronwall suspended for Game 7 vs. Tampa Bay (116)
- Vigneault: ‘Standards have been set’ after Ovechkin, Backstrom hits (102)
- Another Blues campaign ends in disappointment as Wild advance (99)
- Friedman: Penguins need to ‘think about’ trading Malkin (89)
- Report: Developers file intent to build arena in Seattle suburb (81)