Jan 28, 2013, 1:31 PM EDT
Prior to every NHL campaign, teams put their players through a bunch of boring administrative stuff — physicals, paperwork and, most importantly for the purposes of this post, headshots.
The headshot is a curious thing. It’s not often used, so players tend to treat it like high school picture day. Show up in whatever shape you’re in, completely oblivious to the fact someone is going to capture your image, sit down, stare at the camera and hope it turns out, you know, not awful.
Of course, the whole “show up in whatever shape you’re in” part can lead to some, uh, interesting results.
Like in the case of the following five NHLers:
This one has been making the rounds for a while (see here) so there’s really no need to go into great detail about the bushman of San Jose.
Here he be:
I like the juxtaposition at play. How can one man’s head be so immaculately clean, yet his beard look like it was glued on, then sent through a wind tunnel?
He may or may not have spent the lockout following Phish around in an ’83 Volkswagen bus.
The strength of Steeger’s mustache growth seems to be in strips directly below his nostrils, which is weirdly fascinating.
And rounding it out is the ‘Bulin Wall, looking far more disheveled than he did in his infamous 2010 DUI mugshot.
Now, for an entirely different set of headshots, check out this gallery of New Jersey Devils. That is the cleanest-shaven hockey team ever.
We mentioned last year about how Brian Burke waxed poetic over Lou Lamoriello’s strict grooming policies, but just to refresh:
Burke (courtesy the National Post):
“When I played at Providence College, we played West Point, we played the U.S. military academy, at West Point. Now, this is the ’70s, we’re playing teams with guys who have hair down to here [points to shoulders]. Our hair is not allowed to touch our ear.
“Like, I just got a haircut today so that Lou won’t call me and tell me I need a haircut.”
Burke pointed to his freshly trimmed sideburns and continued.
“So we’re playing the cadets. We’re at centre ice and their guys skate over: ‘Hey man, what’s with the hair? We HAVE to do this. What’s with you guys?’
And we’re like, ‘we HAVE to do it, too.”
All of New Jersey’s haircuts are believed to be modeled on this example:
Aug 27, 2014, 10:49 PM EDT
Of course, neither will be wearing a Sabres’ uniform – not yet at least.
Aug 27, 2014, 9:40 PM EDT
They’ve also appointed Don Sweeney as the AHL team’s new general manager.
Aug 27, 2014, 8:28 PM EDT
It matters given that they will start next season with a largely unchanged roster.
Aug 27, 2014, 7:20 PM EDT
Ken Holland hasn’t been in contact with him lately, but that will change soon.
Aug 27, 2014, 6:10 PM EDT
He hasn’t played for them since 2007.
Aug 27, 2014, 4:55 PM EDT
It’s a two-way deal.
Aug 27, 2014, 3:47 PM EDT
Mr. Hockey still reigns supreme in Detroit.
Aug 27, 2014, 2:24 PM EDT
“I haven’t heard that.”
Aug 27, 2014, 1:28 PM EDT
“We haven’t defined a process and certainly no decisions have been made.”
Aug 27, 2014, 1:11 PM EDT
Needs to bounce back after last year’s disappointing campaign.
Aug 27, 2014, 12:31 PM EDT
Finished second in the NHL among forwards last year, with 87.
Aug 27, 2014, 11:39 AM EDT
Former Quebec league sniper is gunning for a gig in Detroit.
Aug 27, 2014, 10:57 AM EDT
Former Tampa Bay forward was bought out of his contract earlier this summer, following legal troubles.
Aug 27, 2014, 10:04 AM EDT
The Red Wings are rebuilding on the fly, but are they assembling a future Cup contender?
Aug 27, 2014, 9:00 AM EDT
He’ll enter the second season of his seven-year, $36.75 million contract.
Aug 27, 2014, 8:00 AM EDT
They have made it to the playoffs for 23 straight seasons.
Aug 26, 2014, 10:51 PM EDT
He’s the former face of the franchise.
Aug 26, 2014, 9:57 PM EDT
A recent report has added new fuel to the speculation on that subject.
Aug 26, 2014, 8:30 PM EDT
Dupuis and Hornqvist are two of the main options.
Aug 26, 2014, 7:23 PM EDT
Will they go another season without one?
- Gomez goes full circle by rejoining Devils on tryout basis 7
- Under Pressure: Jimmy Howard 6
- Looking to make the leap: Anthony Mantha 17
- It’s Detroit Red Wings day on PHT 24
- Under Pressure: Nathan Horton 8
- Will Johansen be the latest Overhardt holdout? 25
- It’s Columbus Blue Jackets day on PHT 16
- Shanahan tasked with ending years of collapses 9
- Looking to make the leap: Peter Holland 1
- Under Pressure: Randy Carlyle 5
- NHL-to-Vegas talks gaining steam (68)
- Report: Bruins need to make a trade (61)
- Sounds like San Jose handled stripping Thornton’s captaincy really well (43)
- Fanspeak: Mats Sundin voted greatest Maple Leaf in franchise history (43)
- Fanspeak: Lemieux (stunner!) voted greatest Penguin in franchise history (41)