Jan 28, 2013, 1:31 PM EDT
Prior to every NHL campaign, teams put their players through a bunch of boring administrative stuff — physicals, paperwork and, most importantly for the purposes of this post, headshots.
The headshot is a curious thing. It’s not often used, so players tend to treat it like high school picture day. Show up in whatever shape you’re in, completely oblivious to the fact someone is going to capture your image, sit down, stare at the camera and hope it turns out, you know, not awful.
Of course, the whole “show up in whatever shape you’re in” part can lead to some, uh, interesting results.
Like in the case of the following five NHLers:
This one has been making the rounds for a while (see here) so there’s really no need to go into great detail about the bushman of San Jose.
Here he be:
I like the juxtaposition at play. How can one man’s head be so immaculately clean, yet his beard look like it was glued on, then sent through a wind tunnel?
He may or may not have spent the lockout following Phish around in an ’83 Volkswagen bus.
The strength of Steeger’s mustache growth seems to be in strips directly below his nostrils, which is weirdly fascinating.
And rounding it out is the ‘Bulin Wall, looking far more disheveled than he did in his infamous 2010 DUI mugshot.
Now, for an entirely different set of headshots, check out this gallery of New Jersey Devils. That is the cleanest-shaven hockey team ever.
We mentioned last year about how Brian Burke waxed poetic over Lou Lamoriello’s strict grooming policies, but just to refresh:
Burke (courtesy the National Post):
“When I played at Providence College, we played West Point, we played the U.S. military academy, at West Point. Now, this is the ’70s, we’re playing teams with guys who have hair down to here [points to shoulders]. Our hair is not allowed to touch our ear.
“Like, I just got a haircut today so that Lou won’t call me and tell me I need a haircut.”
Burke pointed to his freshly trimmed sideburns and continued.
“So we’re playing the cadets. We’re at centre ice and their guys skate over: ‘Hey man, what’s with the hair? We HAVE to do this. What’s with you guys?’
And we’re like, ‘we HAVE to do it, too.”
All of New Jersey’s haircuts are believed to be modeled on this example:
Apr 1, 2015, 1:41 AM EDT
Could the Vancouver forward be facing further discipline from the league?
Apr 1, 2015, 1:17 AM EDT
Tampa Bay is in a battle for the Atlantic Division.
Apr 1, 2015, 12:40 AM EDT
No call on that play.
Apr 1, 2015, 12:04 AM EDT
That’s big for Ottawa.
Mar 31, 2015, 11:31 PM EDT
This was an eventful game.
Mar 31, 2015, 10:57 PM EDT
Could supplemental discipline be on the way?
Mar 31, 2015, 10:09 PM EDT
Florida had the lead in the third period.
Mar 31, 2015, 9:38 PM EDT
Could Vancouver’s veteran defenseman be looking at a suspension?
Mar 31, 2015, 8:58 PM EDT
Scored 32 goals in 37 games this season.
Mar 31, 2015, 8:13 PM EDT
Mar 31, 2015, 7:59 PM EDT
Joins Bossy, Gretzky, Dionne, Lafleur and Lemieux.
Mar 31, 2015, 7:49 PM EDT
3rd-round pick if it happens after the season, 2nd-rounder if it happens in-season.
Mar 31, 2015, 6:59 PM EDT
University of Minnesota blueliner inching closer to free agency.
Mar 31, 2015, 6:41 PM EDT
So the Hart will not, as some have suggested, become the Gretzky.
Mar 31, 2015, 5:30 PM EDT
Blackhawks duo “had a good thing going.”
Mar 31, 2015, 4:32 PM EDT
Not just a team that scores a lot of goals.
Mar 31, 2015, 3:38 PM EDT
Could really use a win tonight versus the Rangers.
Mar 31, 2015, 2:40 PM EDT
“I can speak from experience that home ice matters.”
Mar 31, 2015, 2:13 PM EDT
News and notes from around the crease…
Mar 31, 2015, 1:59 PM EDT
Florida’s season is essentially on the line.
- ‘Could’ve broken his neck,’ says Vigneault of Byfuglien cross check on Miller 7
- Video: Byfuglien gets away with ugly cross check, penalized late in Jets loss to Rangers 22
- Video: Lucic scores late winner, Bruins deal crushing blow to Panthers playoff hopes 7
- Video: Ovi becomes sixth player in history to record six 50-goal seasons 13
- ‘Almost like a game seven tonight’ for Bruins, Panthers 15
- Report: Warrant issued for Deveaux’s arrest following Swedish league attack 47
- How bad are things for the Kings after Monday? 21
- Lightning clinch playoff berth, but did they lose Hedman? 9
- Blackhawks tease good injury news for Kane 8
- Tough times in Tampa: Garrison out 3-4 weeks after ‘pretty dirty’ Abdelkader hit 22