Jan 28, 2013, 1:31 PM EDT
Prior to every NHL campaign, teams put their players through a bunch of boring administrative stuff — physicals, paperwork and, most importantly for the purposes of this post, headshots.
The headshot is a curious thing. It’s not often used, so players tend to treat it like high school picture day. Show up in whatever shape you’re in, completely oblivious to the fact someone is going to capture your image, sit down, stare at the camera and hope it turns out, you know, not awful.
Of course, the whole “show up in whatever shape you’re in” part can lead to some, uh, interesting results.
Like in the case of the following five NHLers:
This one has been making the rounds for a while (see here) so there’s really no need to go into great detail about the bushman of San Jose.
Here he be:
I like the juxtaposition at play. How can one man’s head be so immaculately clean, yet his beard look like it was glued on, then sent through a wind tunnel?
He may or may not have spent the lockout following Phish around in an ’83 Volkswagen bus.
The strength of Steeger’s mustache growth seems to be in strips directly below his nostrils, which is weirdly fascinating.
And rounding it out is the ‘Bulin Wall, looking far more disheveled than he did in his infamous 2010 DUI mugshot.
Now, for an entirely different set of headshots, check out this gallery of New Jersey Devils. That is the cleanest-shaven hockey team ever.
We mentioned last year about how Brian Burke waxed poetic over Lou Lamoriello’s strict grooming policies, but just to refresh:
Burke (courtesy the National Post):
“When I played at Providence College, we played West Point, we played the U.S. military academy, at West Point. Now, this is the ’70s, we’re playing teams with guys who have hair down to here [points to shoulders]. Our hair is not allowed to touch our ear.
“Like, I just got a haircut today so that Lou won’t call me and tell me I need a haircut.”
Burke pointed to his freshly trimmed sideburns and continued.
“So we’re playing the cadets. We’re at centre ice and their guys skate over: ‘Hey man, what’s with the hair? We HAVE to do this. What’s with you guys?’
And we’re like, ‘we HAVE to do it, too.”
All of New Jersey’s haircuts are believed to be modeled on this example:
Jul 2, 2015, 11:00 PM EDT
He was fired by Toronto back in April.
Jul 2, 2015, 9:45 PM EDT
Doug Armstrong dipped into the free agency pool Thursday evening for some depth signings.
Jul 2, 2015, 8:45 PM EDT
They’re two-way contracts worth $650,000.
Jul 2, 2015, 7:50 PM EDT
He’s looking forward to playing with Ovechkin and Backstrom in Washington.
Jul 2, 2015, 6:50 PM EDT
They’ve also inked UFA Jordan Caron.
Jul 2, 2015, 6:00 PM EDT
It’s a one-year, two-way deal.
Jul 2, 2015, 5:15 PM EDT
Washington continues to load up.
Jul 2, 2015, 5:00 PM EDT
There’s no “timetables for next steps,” according to NHL deputy commissioner Bill Daly.
Jul 2, 2015, 4:45 PM EDT
The 27-year-old is looking forward to a fresh start in Pittsburgh.
Jul 2, 2015, 3:34 PM EDT
Acquired from Toronto at last year’s trade deadline.
Jul 2, 2015, 2:57 PM EDT
Leagues will continue to respect each other’s contracts. But that’s it.
Jul 2, 2015, 2:52 PM EDT
Pleads no contest to misdemeanor count of corporal injury to a spouse.
Jul 2, 2015, 2:11 PM EDT
Boughner coached against DeBoer in the OHL, Hedberg played for him in New Jersey.
Jul 2, 2015, 2:02 PM EDT
The Mike Gillis era is just a memory now.
Jul 2, 2015, 1:46 PM EDT
Former Hart Trophy winner announced his retirement on Thursday.
Jul 2, 2015, 1:35 PM EDT
Pittsburgh? Florida? New Jersey? KHL?
Jul 2, 2015, 1:29 PM EDT
“At some point Justin became more affordable to us, and we started to lean his way.”
Jul 2, 2015, 12:36 PM EDT
“At the end of the day, nobody wants to get traded two times. But it’s a learning curve.”
Jul 2, 2015, 12:18 PM EDT
But reports suggest Edmonton, Columbus and Philly are interested.
Jul 2, 2015, 12:07 PM EDT
24-year-old has appeared in 220 NHL contests, all with Nashville.
- Trade: Caps acquire Oshie from Blues for Brouwer, Copley and draft pick 68
- Voynov takes plea, gets 90 days in jail plus probation 42
- Curtains on Broadway: Martin St. Louis calls it a career 32
- Discuss: Where’s the best fit for Alex Semin? 22
- Caps landing ‘affordable’ Williams a sign of the new free agency 3
- Shots fired! ‘Canes owner Karmanos rips into Jim Rutherford (Updated) 56
- Here’s who’s left after Day 1 of free agency 30
- PHT’s 2015 free agent frenzy tracker 38
- Getting clutch? Capitals sign Justin Williams for two years, $6.5M 21
- Coyotes bring back Vermette with two-year deal 33
- Blockbuster: Kessel traded to the Penguins (131)
- Trade: Flyers send Rinaldo to Bruins for 2017 third-rounder (105)
- Trade: Jackets land Saad; Anisimov and Dano headed to Chicago (93)
- Bypassing a buyout? Kings terminate Richards’ contract for ‘material breach’ (90)
- Trade: Flames land Dougie Hamilton for package of picks (75)