Jan 28, 2013, 1:31 PM EDT
Prior to every NHL campaign, teams put their players through a bunch of boring administrative stuff — physicals, paperwork and, most importantly for the purposes of this post, headshots.
The headshot is a curious thing. It’s not often used, so players tend to treat it like high school picture day. Show up in whatever shape you’re in, completely oblivious to the fact someone is going to capture your image, sit down, stare at the camera and hope it turns out, you know, not awful.
Of course, the whole “show up in whatever shape you’re in” part can lead to some, uh, interesting results.
Like in the case of the following five NHLers:
This one has been making the rounds for a while (see here) so there’s really no need to go into great detail about the bushman of San Jose.
Here he be:
I like the juxtaposition at play. How can one man’s head be so immaculately clean, yet his beard look like it was glued on, then sent through a wind tunnel?
He may or may not have spent the lockout following Phish around in an ’83 Volkswagen bus.
The strength of Steeger’s mustache growth seems to be in strips directly below his nostrils, which is weirdly fascinating.
And rounding it out is the ‘Bulin Wall, looking far more disheveled than he did in his infamous 2010 DUI mugshot.
Now, for an entirely different set of headshots, check out this gallery of New Jersey Devils. That is the cleanest-shaven hockey team ever.
We mentioned last year about how Brian Burke waxed poetic over Lou Lamoriello’s strict grooming policies, but just to refresh:
Burke (courtesy the National Post):
“When I played at Providence College, we played West Point, we played the U.S. military academy, at West Point. Now, this is the ’70s, we’re playing teams with guys who have hair down to here [points to shoulders]. Our hair is not allowed to touch our ear.
“Like, I just got a haircut today so that Lou won’t call me and tell me I need a haircut.”
Burke pointed to his freshly trimmed sideburns and continued.
“So we’re playing the cadets. We’re at centre ice and their guys skate over: ‘Hey man, what’s with the hair? We HAVE to do this. What’s with you guys?’
And we’re like, ‘we HAVE to do it, too.”
All of New Jersey’s haircuts are believed to be modeled on this example:
Sep 1, 2015, 10:04 AM EDT
Veteran forward heads overseas after appearing in 600-plus NHL contests.
Sep 1, 2015, 9:00 AM EDT
He’s got plenty of potential, but he doesn’t want to get ahead of himself.
Sep 1, 2015, 8:00 AM EDT
Tuesday’s collection of links.
Aug 31, 2015, 10:22 PM EDT
His first game against Boston is scheduled for Feb. 9.
Aug 31, 2015, 9:00 PM EDT
The start of his rookie campaign is approaching.
Aug 31, 2015, 7:30 PM EDT
Who will take advantage of the opening?
Aug 31, 2015, 6:00 PM EDT
The two have previously played together on the Czech national team.
Aug 31, 2015, 4:30 PM EDT
Former coach Jeff Daniels is also staying within the organization after being relieved of his AHL coaching duties.
Aug 31, 2015, 3:00 PM EDT
Looking to score an AHL deal.
Aug 31, 2015, 2:12 PM EDT
You can expect this question to be asked throughout the year.
Aug 31, 2015, 1:00 PM EDT
Heck, the ‘Hawks are still over the salary cap ceiling.
Aug 31, 2015, 12:00 PM EDT
Chicago’s star forward remains under police investigation.
Aug 31, 2015, 11:00 AM EDT
Can his KHL success translate to North America?
Aug 31, 2015, 10:04 AM EDT
Plenty of changes in the Windy City.
Aug 31, 2015, 9:00 AM EDT
The defending Stanley Cup champs dealt away key pieces in the offseason.
Aug 31, 2015, 8:00 AM EDT
Monday’s collection of links.
Aug 30, 2015, 9:00 PM EDT
The 36-year-old is still looking for a contract after being bought out by the Wild.
Aug 30, 2015, 7:00 PM EDT
The Wild ranked 27th overall last season with the man advantage.
Aug 30, 2015, 5:00 PM EDT
Granlund scored just eight goals last season while playing between Pominville and Parise.
Aug 30, 2015, 3:00 PM EDT
He’s hoping to crack the Wild’s opening night roster after three seasons at the University of Minnesota.
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