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Here are this season’s five scraggliest NHL headshots

BrentBurns2

SAN JOSE, CA - JANUARY 13: Brent Burns of the San Jose Sharks poses for his official headshot for the 2012-13 season on January 13, 2013 at Sharks Ice in San Jose, CA. (Photo by Don Smith/NHLI via Getty Images) *** Local Caption *** Brent Burns

Don Smith

Prior to every NHL campaign, teams put their players through a bunch of boring administrative stuff -- physicals, paperwork and, most importantly for the purposes of this post, headshots.

The headshot is a curious thing. It’s not often used, so players tend to treat it like high school picture day. Show up in whatever shape you’re in, completely oblivious to the fact someone is going to capture your image, sit down, stare at the camera and hope it turns out, you know, not awful.

Of course, the whole “show up in whatever shape you’re in” part can lead to some, uh, interesting results.

Like in the case of the following five NHLers:

Brent Burns

This one has been making the rounds for a while (see here) so there’s really no need to go into great detail about the bushman of San Jose.

Here he be:

BrentBurns

SAN JOSE, CA - JANUARY 13: Brent Burns of the San Jose Sharks poses for his official headshot for the 2012-13 season on January 13, 2013 at Sharks Ice in San Jose, CA. (Photo by Don Smith/NHLI via Getty Images) *** Local Caption *** Brent Burns

Don Smith

Greg Zanon

I like the juxtaposition at play. How can one man’s head be so immaculately clean, yet his beard look like it was glued on, then sent through a wind tunnel?

DENVER, CO - JANUARY 12: Greg Zanon of the Colorado Avalanche poses for his official headshot for the 2012-2013 NHL season on January 12, 2013. (Photo by Michael Martin/NHLI via Getty Images) *** Local Caption *** Greg Zanon

Michael Martin

Rick DiPietro

He may or may not have spent the lockout following Phish around in an ’83 Volkswagen bus.

RickDiPietro

UNIONDALE, NY - JANUARY 13: Rick DiPietro of the New York Islanders poses for his official headshot for the 2012-2013 season on January 13, 2013 at the Nassau Coliseum in Uniondale, New York. (Photo by Mike Stobe/NHLI via Getty Images) *** Local Caption *** Rick DiPietro

Mike Stobe

Kris Versteeg

The strength of Steeger’s mustache growth seems to be in strips directly below his nostrils, which is weirdly fascinating.

KrisVersteeg

CORAL SPRINGS, FL– JANUARY 13: Kris Versteeg of the Florida Panthers poses for his official headshot for the 2012-2013 NHL season season on January 13, 2013. (Photo by Eliot J. Schechter/NHLI via Getty Images) *** Local Caption ***Kris Versteeg

Eliot J. Schechter

Nikolai Khabibulin

And rounding it out is the ‘Bulin Wall, looking far more disheveled than he did in his infamous 2010 DUI mugshot.

NikolaKhabibulin

EDMONTON, AB – JANUARY 14 : Nikolai Khabibulin of the Edmonton Oilers poses for his official headshot for the 2012-2013 NHL season. (Photo by Andy Devlin/NHLI via Getty Images) *** Local Caption *** Nikolai Khabibulin

Andy Devlin

Now, for an entirely different set of headshots, check out this gallery of New Jersey Devils. That is the cleanest-shaven hockey team ever.

We mentioned last year about how Brian Burke waxed poetic over Lou Lamoriello’s strict grooming policies, but just to refresh:

Burke (courtesy the National Post):

“When I played at Providence College, we played West Point, we played the U.S. military academy, at West Point. Now, this is the ’70s, we’re playing teams with guys who have hair down to here [points to shoulders]. Our hair is not allowed to touch our ear.

“Like, I just got a haircut today so that Lou won’t call me and tell me I need a haircut.”

Burke pointed to his freshly trimmed sideburns and continued.

“So we’re playing the cadets. We’re at centre ice and their guys skate over: ‘Hey man, what’s with the hair? We HAVE to do this. What’s with you guys?’

And we’re like, ‘we HAVE to do it, too.”

All of New Jersey’s haircuts are believed to be modeled on this example:

unitas