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Bryzgalov laments all the monkey astronauts lost to space travel

Ilya Bryzgalov - Epic - 24-7

First, a disclaimer -- according to various Flyers beat reporters, nobody actually recorded all of Ilya Bryzgalov’s latest “this guy might be a genius, but he also might be on peyote” dissertation. According to Sam Carchidi of Philly.com, Bryz was rambling along until the cameras went on and he declined to say anything further.

In light of that, kudos to Comcast’s John Gonzalez for piecing this together:

When asked what he would have done if he hadn’t become a professional hockey goalie, Bryzgalov didn’t hesitate.

“Astronaut,” he said quickly.

The media pack sort of blinked back at him. No one was sure whether he was kidding. He wasn’t.

“No, seriously,” he added.

At which point Bryzgalov began a long dissertation about the American space program versus the Soviet/Russian space program and which was superior. He noted that the first two animals in space were Russian dogs, which led to a strange exchange between Bryzgalov and a reporter about who had lost more monkeys in space -- the Americans or the Soviets/Russians. Bryzgalov conceded that too many monkeys had lost their lives in that vocation.

“The problem with monkeys,” Bryzgalov quipped, “they push the wrong buttons.”

Well, you know what they say: Chimpin’ ain’t easy.

/bangs gong, makes wokka wokka sound