Apr 10, 2012, 8:00 AM EDT
Because we’re on the Internet, and reading stuff on the Internet requires the attention span of a gerbil, PHT’s intrepid staff of keyboard chimps and copy drones have made their Round 1 playoff picks — with five words of analysis per pick.
Nothing less, nothing more.
We. Only. Used. Five. Words.
No. 1 Vancouver vs. No. 8 Los Angeles
Ryan Dadoun (Canucks in 5): Kings lack scoring depth necessary.
James O’Brien (Canucks in 6): Hot Canucks alleviate royal pain.
Joe Yerdon (Canucks in 6): Quick is not fast enough.
Jason Brough (Canucks in 7): More goals in soccer games.
Mike Halford (Canucks in 7): Sedins are good at hockey.
No. 2 St. Louis vs. No. 7 San Jose
Dadoun (Blues in 6): Arnott, Langenbrunner compliment young core.
O’Brien (Blues in 5): Young Blues feast on guppies.
Yerdon (Blues in 7): Sharks scare, Blues too good.
Brough (Sharks in 6): The Blues peaked too soon.
Halford (Sharks in 6): Blues were brutal down stretch.
No. 3 Phoenix vs. No. 6 Chicago
Dadoun (Coyotes in 6): Hot Smith bests inconsistent Crawford.
O’Brien (‘Hawks in 6): Star power bests bland execution.
Yerdon (‘Hawks in 6): Upset? Yeah, I suppose so.
Brough (‘Hawks in 6): Keith rested. Elbow feels great.
Halford (Coyotes in 6): You seen Crawford this season?
No. 4 Nashville vs. No. 5 Detroit
Dadoun (Preds in 7): Reloaded Predators need to win.
O’Brien (Wings in 7): Old just barely beats Rad.
Yerdon (Preds in 7): Winner drops dead next round.
Brough (Preds in 7): Preds desperate. Franchise on line.
Halford (Wings in 6): Offer Suter contract immediately after.
No. 1 New York vs. No. 8 Ottawa
Dadoun (Rangers in 6): Learning experience for younger Senators.
O’Brien (Rangers in 4): Senators fetch the shine box.
Yerdon (Rangers in 6): Rangers never win anything easy.
Brough (Rangers in 5): Sens overachieved. Will face reality.
Halford (Rangers in 7): With three classic Tortorella tirades.
No. 2 Boston vs. No. 7 Washington
Dadoun (Caps in 7): Ovechkin’s finally playing like Ovechkin.
O’Brien (Bruins in 5): Bears italicize the bumbling Caps.
Yerdon (Bruins in 5): Caps inconsistency fails them again.
Brough (Bruins in 5): Caps getting peeled off boards.
Halford (Bruins in 5): Nobody’s winning with Braden Holtby.
No. 3 Florida vs. No. 6 New Jersey
Dadoun (Devils in 5): Might be Brodeur’s last run.
O’Brien (Devils in 5): Dangerous Devils crush cuddly Cats.
Yerdon (Devils in 5): Token win for bad team.
Brough (Devils in 5): Panthers aren’t very good. Sorry.
Halford (Devils in 6): Florida’s the worst playoff team.
No. 4 Pittsburgh vs. No. 5 Philadelphia
Dadoun (Pens in 7): Winner becomes Stanley Cup favorite.
O’Brien (Pens in 7): Pens wash hands of “bloodbath.”
Yerdon (Pens in 7): Crosby, Malkin, Neal too much.
Brough (Pens in 5): Maybe if Philly had Pronger.
Halford (Pens in 6): Vitale with the series-winner.
Sep 19, 2014, 11:01 PM EDT
The Winnipeg Jets would settle for far less after he scored just 19 last season.
Sep 19, 2014, 10:03 PM EDT
The last thing he wants is to suffer a setback by rushing his recovery.
Sep 19, 2014, 9:37 PM EDT
That’s not the only summer statement he took exception to.
Sep 19, 2014, 9:04 PM EDT
Bob Suter was a defenseman on the “Miracle on Ice” team.
Sep 19, 2014, 8:02 PM EDT
That usually doesn’t end well, but this might be an exception.
Sep 19, 2014, 6:59 PM EDT
He suffered three concussions in under a year.
Sep 19, 2014, 6:00 PM EDT
It’s part of the reason why the defenseman is playing for Washington.
Sep 19, 2014, 4:58 PM EDT
He suffered a concussion last season.
Sep 19, 2014, 4:17 PM EDT
Greg Sherman stayed on as his assistant.
Sep 19, 2014, 3:33 PM EDT
He’s not the only member of the Ducks that’s hurting.
Sep 19, 2014, 3:00 PM EDT
Held out of Kings’ on-ice activities on Friday.
Sep 19, 2014, 2:06 PM EDT
“We’re a cap team now, despite us being in the bottom five of the league in ticket revenue.”
Sep 19, 2014, 2:00 PM EDT
Flyers captain currently being evaluated.
Sep 19, 2014, 1:21 PM EDT
“We have two NHL centermen right now,” said Dallas Eakins.
Sep 19, 2014, 1:09 PM EDT
Just like they did last year.
Sep 19, 2014, 12:31 PM EDT
But most of them wouldn’t have gone public with the negotiations.
Sep 19, 2014, 11:59 AM EDT
What does his future hold in Calgary?
Sep 19, 2014, 11:17 AM EDT
Will the men have to face NHLers?
Sep 19, 2014, 11:07 AM EDT
“But maybe we can control the top lines and outperform the lower lines.”
Sep 19, 2014, 10:56 AM EDT
“I’m sure they’re up to the task.”
- Evander Kane: I know I can score 50 goals 4
- ‘C’-less Thornton comes out swing against Wilson’s ‘tomorrow team’ talk 13
- Joe Sakic’s now general manager in name too 5
- Update: Giroux out two weeks with lower-body injury 24
- Update: Crosby on ice with Penguins teammates Friday, leaves early 5
- Ouch: Wild reportedly suspend Harding for ‘non-hockey injury’ 28
- Keeping Kuemper: Wild sign goalie to two-year deal reportedly worth $2.5M 15
- Selanne regrets harsh words toward Boudreau 9
- Flyers’ Timonen admits chances of playing are ‘really slim’ 8
- Desjardins (a.k.a. not Torts) makes good first impression on Canucks 28
- Heeeeeere’s Johnny! Davidson shreds Johansen’s agent for ‘baffling, nonsensical’ contract demands (62)
- Chiarelli: At some point, I’m going to have to trade a defenseman (56)
- Jackets reveal Johansen offers — including an eight year, $46M deal (55)
- Will the NHL publicize divers? (48)
- No icing on the PK? The USHL will see how that looks (43)