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Movember poll: Who owns the best ‘active’ mustache in the NHL?

Nov 3, 2011, 8:30 AM EDT

Want an appropriate time to do something ridiculous? Make sure it’s in the name of charity. Huge Czech defensemen wearing pink bunny suits to hospitals and countless people making boob jokes to benefit breast cancer research/awareness are just two examples of that practice. Yet if you want a go-to example of what hockey players are doing right now, simply look at the area between their lips and noses.

Yup, it’s “Movember,” one of the strangest charitable movements in a jam-packed arena of weird benefits. With that in mind, PHT wants to know: who is the modern mustache champion* in the NHL?

The contestants

source: APGeorge Parros via The Associated Press

Notes: Parros just shaved it for Movember, but by my estimation, it’s already grown back by this writing. In fact, it’s likely stronger, thicker and maybe even a bit angry now. He’s a Princeton grad so don’t discount the possibility of a sentient ‘stache.

source: APMike Brown via AP

Notes: Tell me what your eye is drawn to in this photo. If you said “the puck” instead of Brown’s majestic handlebar, then you’re either a liar or a potential enemy.

source: APPaul MacLean via AP

Notes: The first contestant from the “coaches” division is a legit contender. Anyone who attributed the Ottawa Senators’ surge to Jason Spezza is wrong; it’s clear that the team is spurred on by MacLean’s mustache. His ‘stache has forgotten more about hockey than we’ll ever know.

source: Getty ImagesDaniel Carcillo via Getty Images

Notes: It’s doubtful that Carcillo’s “Luigi ‘stache” has much of a chance in such a stacked field. This is really just a thinly veiled attempt to add variety to the ranks of “Carcillo’s missing teeth” photos.

Dave Lewis

Notes: Check out a photo of that questionable fashion choice here.

source: APJoel Quenneville via AP

Notes: Sure, he came into Chicago with plenty of solid coaching experience, but let’s face it. The Blackhawks snapped into shape because they feared the “Q-Stache.” Can you blame them?

Bill Clement

Notes: Hearing his voice in NHL 12 scratches a nostalgic itch, but EA Sports really needs to digitize that glorious nose critter. (Click here to see it in its glory.)

Other

As impressive as this list is, it’s easy to imagine an oversight or two. For that reason, there’s an “other” category for write-in candidates. Just keep in mind this poll is all about players or personalities still working prominently today.

* – Here’s a few reasons why we opted against going all-time:

1. Lanny McDonald would have dominated the poll to a ridiculous degree.

2. The research required to analyze the staggering amount of ‘staches from the ’80s would have dragged this thing beyond November.

3. There are already plenty of great sources for historic nose critters; Greatest Hockey Legends counted down the top 10 of all-time, for instance.

  1. jsaq - Nov 3, 2011 at 8:40 AM

    I would have gone with big George, but he shaved to regrow for Movember…thus MacLean wins.

  2. govtminion - Nov 3, 2011 at 10:40 AM

    Parros. Because if I vote for someone else, his ‘stache will find me while I sleep.

  3. rainyday56 - Nov 3, 2011 at 11:16 AM

    John “Cheech” Garrett, colorman for Canucks broadcasts. His ‘stache is exactly the same color as his hair. How is that possible?

  4. ThatGuy - Nov 3, 2011 at 11:24 AM

    Clutterbuck has been rocking this beauty for a while now. I think he started it last Movember but never really got rid of it.

    http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-MRl9fOyWozw/TWBdkDDHhmI/AAAAAAAAAcA/q2JTthyJ77o/s1600/clutterbuck.jpg

  5. sknut - Nov 3, 2011 at 11:52 AM

    I like McLean’s it has a retro feel and a dignified approach on his face. It doesn’t hurt that his team is playing well.

    Clutterbuck is a close second for me.

  6. swizzler16 - Nov 3, 2011 at 1:36 PM

    I didn’t know Wilford Brimley came back from the dead to coach the Ottawa Senators. I suppose it can be attributed to his love and fear of ‘diabeetus.’

  7. milkthebull - Nov 5, 2011 at 10:39 PM

    Good article. Did anyone see the funny article on the hipster stache?

    http://milkthebull.com/2011/08/02/local-hipster-can%E2%80%99t-decide-how-to-wear-mustache/

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