Oct 18, 2011, 11:44 AM EDT
The Columbus Blue Jackets host the Dallas Stars tonight at Nationwide Arena. Good seats are still available. Great seats even. Like, you could probably sit on the Columbus bench if you made a call or two. Might even get to take a shift.
Yes, after GM Scott Howson’s summer of spending, the Jackets are off to a dreadful start. They’re 0-4-1. Last in the Central division. They can’t score. They can’t keep the puck out of their own net. Their power play is terrible. As is their penalty kill. They smell. They’re overweight. Awful skin. Breath is horrible. Super annoying to talk to at parties. Bad team all around.
Not surprisingly, the fans in Columbus haven’t exactly been flocking to BJs games. Last Wednesday against Colorado, just 8,986 bothered to show up to watch the home side lose in a shootout. As always in these types of situations, that number is probably generous. And when I say probably, I mean definitely. “We counted the cannon as 20 people.”
Anyway, what better game to fill the seats than a Tuesday night affair with Dallas?
That sound you’re hearing is scalpers sobbing.
Now, before we get to the part where we guess the attendance, I’m not sure if the Jackets have some sort of ticket promotion planned for tonight. Maybe anyone with a college ID can sit in the upper deck for $20, gets a free foam finger and unlimited nachos. For example, here’s what the Jackets are offering for next Tuesday’s game versus the Red Wings…
That’s a pretty good deal, says the guy from Vancouver.
OK, so let’s guess the attendance for tonight. I’m going to say…8,457. What say you? We’ll announce the winner tomorrow on PHT. Free Ferrari for anyone who hits it right on the nail.*
*Offer void on planet Earth
- Just how damaging are heated negotiations between Jackets, RFA Johansen? 0
- Panthers owners say they’re committed even though team has lost ‘tremendous amounts of money’ 9
- Update: Wild’s Harding out indefinitely with fractured foot 19
- Johansen heads home from Columbus as talks get even messier 18
- Kesler accuses Vancouver media of making up stories, ‘throwing people under the bus’ 22
- Jackets reveal Johansen offers — including an eight year, $46M deal 50
- Mike Yeo is pretty unhappy with Minnesota’s goalie situation 22
- Much to his relief, Lecavalier will start season at center 19
- Heeeeeere’s Johnny! Davidson shreds Johansen’s agent for ‘baffling, nonsensical’ contract demands 61
- Advantage Kuemper? Harding on crutches after ankle injury 15
- Heeeeeere’s Johnny! Davidson shreds Johansen’s agent for ‘baffling, nonsensical’ contract demands (61)
- Chiarelli: At some point, I’m going to have to trade a defenseman (56)
- Jackets reveal Johansen offers — including an eight year, $46M deal (50)
- Will the NHL publicize divers? (48)
- No icing on the PK? The USHL will see how that looks (43)