Oct 18, 2011, 11:44 AM EDT
The Columbus Blue Jackets host the Dallas Stars tonight at Nationwide Arena. Good seats are still available. Great seats even. Like, you could probably sit on the Columbus bench if you made a call or two. Might even get to take a shift.
Yes, after GM Scott Howson’s summer of spending, the Jackets are off to a dreadful start. They’re 0-4-1. Last in the Central division. They can’t score. They can’t keep the puck out of their own net. Their power play is terrible. As is their penalty kill. They smell. They’re overweight. Awful skin. Breath is horrible. Super annoying to talk to at parties. Bad team all around.
Not surprisingly, the fans in Columbus haven’t exactly been flocking to BJs games. Last Wednesday against Colorado, just 8,986 bothered to show up to watch the home side lose in a shootout. As always in these types of situations, that number is probably generous. And when I say probably, I mean definitely. “We counted the cannon as 20 people.”
Anyway, what better game to fill the seats than a Tuesday night affair with Dallas?
That sound you’re hearing is scalpers sobbing.
Now, before we get to the part where we guess the attendance, I’m not sure if the Jackets have some sort of ticket promotion planned for tonight. Maybe anyone with a college ID can sit in the upper deck for $20, gets a free foam finger and unlimited nachos. For example, here’s what the Jackets are offering for next Tuesday’s game versus the Red Wings…
That’s a pretty good deal, says the guy from Vancouver.
OK, so let’s guess the attendance for tonight. I’m going to say…8,457. What say you? We’ll announce the winner tomorrow on PHT. Free Ferrari for anyone who hits it right on the nail.*
*Offer void on planet Earth
- Coyotes bring back Vermette with two-year deal 1
- PHT’s 2015 free agent frenzy tracker 37
- Bruins sign Beleskey for five years, despite some warning signs 30
- Kessel trade shows Leafs are trying to ‘build this thing the right way’ 17
- Green signs with Red Wings — 3 years, $18 million 22
- ‘It’s hard to find players like Phil Kessel’ 35
- Kassian traded to Habs for Prust; Hodgson signs with Preds 15
- Blockbuster: Kessel traded to the Penguins 126
- Oilers get Sekera for six years, closing in on Letestu 7
- Avalanche sign veteran d-man Beauchemin for three years 6
- Blockbuster: Kessel traded to the Penguins (126)
- Trade: Flyers send Rinaldo to Bruins for 2017 third-rounder (105)
- Trade: Jackets land Saad, Anisimov and Dano headed to Chicago (93)
- Bypassing a buyout? Kings terminate Richards’ contract for ‘material breach’ (90)
- Trade: Flames land Dougie Hamilton for package of picks (75)