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No kidding: Nikolai Khabibulin’s Tent City menu not-so appetizing

Jul 31, 2011, 9:25 PM EDT

Nikolai Khabibulin AP

Having an NHL star in prison isn’t exactly a common occurrence. After all, we don’t need a counter on our sidebar here at PHT the way the guys at ProFootballTalk do when it comes to arrests. With Nikolai Khabibulin doing his time now at Tent City in Arizona for his extreme DUI and reckless driving charges, you’ll have to forgive us for being more than a little fascinated with how the whole thing plays out.

We’ve found out just what it means for Khabibulin to be at Tent City and having to wear pink boxer shorts among other pink items and spending his days doing hard labor for 12 hours at a time, we get to find out a little bit more about what goes into his accommodations in Sheriff Joe Arpaio’s radical prison camp.

One wouldn’t expect that prisoners would have the greatest treatment and if you think guys in prison eat well… Think again. Michelle Thompson of Sun Media went to Tent City to examine the setup there including a taste of what it is the prisoners have to eat. Suffice to say, all the stories about how bad prison food is live up to their hype.

In a cowardly move, I started out with the safe standby, a pre-wrapped oatmeal-with-cream cookie.

It was delicious and devoured instantly.

I was less eager to bite into the rotting orange sitting beside me.

And so, it was onto the sandwich.

After taking a deep breath, I pulled open the lunch meat for a closer inspection.

It was soggy, smelled like eggs, and was covered in black specks.

The bread looked all right though.

Proceeding cautiously, I pulled out a napkin and wiped all the brown specks from the meat, before planting it inside the bun.

I stared at this creation for several minutes, wondering what type of meat I was about to ingest.

My stomach was already queasy from this unbearable Arizona heat, and chasing the sandwich with a mouthful of milk was out of the question.

Then I took a bite.

The sogginess of the meat combined with the dryness of the bread made me gag.

I struggled to swallow just that one bite, before the aftertaste of mould overpowered my tastebuds.

Come for the hard labor and pink underpants, stay for the oatmeal cookie and indigestion.

While we don’t know what Khabibulin’s normal diet is like, we have to think that rotten-looking fruit, gnarly moldy sandwiches, and Little Debbie snack cakes aren’t part of his daily regiment in the offseason. At the very least, the long, hot summer days of breaking rocks in the sun should help him take his mind off the crappy food.

If you didn’t need more lessons as to why breaking the law and drunk driving aren’t worth the trouble, Nikolai Khabibulin’s days in Sheriff Joe’s “fun” camp should provide enough reasons why you should stay on the straight and narrow.

  1. bigbear42 - Jul 31, 2011 at 10:44 PM

    At least hes living outside during the summer when its nice and cool in Arizona

  2. nhlbruins90 - Aug 1, 2011 at 1:12 AM

    More people (by far) are murdered each year by drunk (and drugged up) drivers than were murdered on 9-11. Nick is getting exactly what he deserves. Taxpayers should not have to shell out big bucks to punish lawbreakers.

    If you really want to gag, check out where the Norway mass murderer will spend his 21 years (maximum sentence in Norway). Now THAT will make you sick.

  3. obsolete777 - Aug 1, 2011 at 2:41 AM

    Prison itself is the punishment- once inside, prisoners shouldn’t be punished with rotting food and other humiliations. We’re supposed to be a better country than that. It’s in our Constitution.
    Sheriff Joe Arpaio is corrupt, and he will be a resident inside his own tent city before too much longer.

    • bcjim - Aug 1, 2011 at 9:49 AM

      Wrong. Thats called a free hotel. I agree food should be edible and I do wonder about the heat issue though. Maybe nighttime temps are bearable in AZ?

      Beyond that though, too bad. And recall, this is a jail not a prison. People arent in jails long term. Usually just short stuff, pretrial holding, etc.

      Once you get serious time…off to the state pen.

      • obsolete777 - Aug 2, 2011 at 1:03 AM

        Read the Constitution. No cruel or unusual punishment. Don’t like it? Move to another country.
        Quit comparing the U.S. to foreign countries and their treatment of prisoners. We are supposed to be better. Just because some third-world country behaves in a barbaric way, that makes it OK for us to?
        Again, the loss of freedom is the punishment. Anyone who advocates for prisoners to be brutalized, humiliated, raped, and otherwise abused is a sadist who doesn’t understand what makes our country special.

  4. nickynick04 - Aug 1, 2011 at 7:03 AM

    obsolute 777
    i totally agree you, it is the loss of liberty ….that is the pinishment.

    • nhlbruins90 - Aug 1, 2011 at 10:12 AM

      Indeed, losing your liberty is the punishment. However, it’s up to the citizens to determine the conditions of your confinement. In my opinion, it should be the bare minimum at a minimum cost, and the state has a responsibility to keep you safe from other inmates. That’s it.

      In Norway, they have a different standard, and they think it’s more civilized over there. But compassion for the guilty is cruelty to the innocent. Look at where the Norway mass murderer will spend his 21 years and tell me that Norway is ‘civilized’ in that sense. Not at all. It’s deeply cruel to the victims, their families who will be in their own prison for life, and society at-large. The haughty Europeans should quit calling America ignorant and uncivilized (their favorite hobby) and hold a mirror up to themselves. They’ll have a lot to think about as that case goes through their system of justice.

      • silverdeer - Aug 1, 2011 at 11:36 AM

        Although the rotten food is overboard as punishment, I have to say that the conditions that they have to stay in are still better than what our soldiers are having to deal with in the Middle East and other places. Those men and women are out working their tails off with 80 lb. packs on their backs, risking their lives so we can sit here and FREELY! speculate whether or not Sheriff Joe is fair to his inmates or not. Every one of those inmates are there for a reason. They have either made a choice to violate laws against society or made choices to have law enforcement suspect that they violated laws against society. Nicky made the choice to drink and drive and now he is being punished for it because he got caught. For those of you that want to whine about Sheriff Joe’s Tent City, do me and the rest of the country a favor and go seek out a Middle East Vet and bring it up with them. I triple-dog-dare you.

  5. nhlbruins90 - Aug 1, 2011 at 3:26 PM

    A distant relative is in Afghanistan and although I forget the exact details, it’s something like 200 guys per shower. Needless to say, they don’t get to take too many showers. If it’s good enough for our soldiers, it ought to be good enough for our inmates.

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