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Keith Ballard’s first goal came against his current landlord … Dan Cloutier?

Nov 24, 2010, 8:32 PM EDT

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It’s a rather specific fantasy, but I imagine it’s one that exists in the imaginations of hockey fans living in an apartment/townhouse/and so on: scoring a goal on your landlord. Maybe the man or woman ignores your desperate phone calls when your toilet overflows and no amount of plunging can save the day. Perhaps that person barely bats an eye when you gripe about the Volkswagen-sized insects inhabiting your living quarters.

Whatever the case, it’s probably one of the 5,078* different scenarios a person might imagine when in such an isolated incident of incitement.

* This number is in no way scientific and is in every way made up on the spot.

For Vancouver Canucks defenseman Keith Ballard, this unlikely event happened during his first career NHL goal. The Canucks’ official Web site captures the story of Ballard’s his first career goal – which was actually scored against the Canucks – as a member of the Phoenix Coyotes.

Ballard made his NHL debut in Vancouver, where he also notched his first goal and no doubt the emotions were high that day for the, then, 22 year-old.

“I was excited about that whole game. I was so nervous and so excited at the same time just to be playing and to have your first game that I don’t even remember how I felt. I know I was excited the whole day leading up to it.”

“I got a pass out of the corner Mike Johnson, I believe – current TSN analyst. I shot a little left on Dan Cloutier, who’s now my landlord.”

Someone, somewhere, is probably putting together a convoluted Photoshop that somehow combines the “Cloutier allowing a beach ball goal” meme with his new job as a landlord. I shudder to think of the possibilities.

Amazingly enough, the Canucks Web site actually has video of that first goal. Here it is in it’s not-quite-vintage glory.

Click here to read more stories of first ever goals for Canucks players, including Ballard, Mikael Samuelsson, Dan Hamhuis and Raffi Torres.

(H/T to Nucks Misconduct.)

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